1
“I need you to prove to me that you’re incapable of failing me.
Because I can’t let you in until you promise to be.
I’m so openly closed off and my small circle isn’t my ideal shape but I’m afraid to let my trust escape.
I prefer to keep it within my embrace because at least then I can limit the pain I’ll have to face.
And to tell you the truth, my circle is but a dot because I can only really trust myself and I still lack room for anybody else”.
I convinced myself that taking away external pressures would protect me, but failing myself was the only thing I didn’t foresee.
It becomes a continuous cycle of guilt, depression and frustration and that’s because the world’s idea of perfection has stifled our nation.
It impinges on our mental well-being because we try to juggle tasks which were never our own - such is the fault in placing our trust in ourselves alone.
2
“I idolised them and perceived them as incapable of failing me.
It’s not just people. Money, possessions they’re all like my sense of security.
I need something to run to in any given situation, so I need to keep them all on rotation.
I keep my network broad out of fear of being alone and at least in the end I’ll be someone who’s known.
They’ve never completely made me feel emotionally or physically safe, but where else can I place my faith?”
I convinced myself that taking away internal pressures would protect me, but them failing me was the only thing I didn’t foresee.
It becomes a continuous cycle of dissatisfaction, brokenness and frustration and that’s because our idea of trust requires all the above’s participation.
It impinges on our mental well-being because we put others in place to handle a case which was never their own - such is the fault in placing our trust in others alone.
This is the dichotomy of trust.
We’re so fearful to impart our trust that we even withhold it from God yet, we’re so frivolous with our trust that we’d rather trust people/things before God. To be honest, in both cases the problem isn’t our willingness to trust because our trust is ultimately embedded in other people/things, or ourselves.
Our problem is misplaced trust, because in God should be where our trust is primarily placed. When we lack confidence in ourselves, God shows up and allows His strength to be perfected and evident in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). When all we have fails us God tells us He’s got us, we don’t even have to worry about basics – food, clothes – they are nothing to a God who provides all needs (Matthew 6:25-34).
Our very nature proves that we’re insufficient and outside of God everyone's efforts are inefficient.
If not God, who can we trust to keep air in our lungs as we sleep. Whilst we’re at rest, God keeps watch and even has angels guarding our feet.
God is the only One incapable of ever failing us, and I pray by the grace of God we’ll learn to redirect our misplaced trust.